Dear Parents and Carers of Good Samaritan

This week we continue to focus on the 4H Model presented by Adam Fraser in his webinar ‘Striving Schools: How schools can partner with parents to help students be more resilient and have a functional relationship with struggle and failure’. If you were unable to watch the webinar last week, you can do so up until midnight on Monday 31 August. Click here to watch the webinar.

 The 4H Model was developed to guide parents and schools to help their kids develop more resilience, improve learning outcomes when dealing with their struggles and uncertainty. The model is designed to be simple to remember and deliver through the use of: 

 HEART        HEAD          HANDS       HI-FIVE

Through the webinar, Adam explained the importance of allowing our children to struggle and sometimes fail and how we, as a school community of parents and teachers, can support that ability to struggle by building resilience in our children. The 4H Model is a researched based tool that allows parents and teachers to develop clear strategies that assist children to work their way through growth centred struggle.

The Heart Conversation

The Emotional Phase

1. This is where we name and validate the emotion that the child is expressing
2. We don’t judge at this stage - judgement is the thing that blocks connection
3. Your child wants and needs to be heard
4. This is a way of building connection with your child so that when bigger issues arise they will feel safe in coming to you for support
5. Listening with empathy is the key to a heart conversation

The Head Conversation

The Logical Phase

1. Children must feel heard - questions you might ask
2. They want to feel like you understand where they’re coming from
1. What happened? (the details of the situation) - remember, don’t judge
2. What are you finding difficult?
3. What is it that makes you feel so……. (angry, frustrated, sad etc)?
4. What do you want to have happen?

The Hand Conversation

The Action Phase

1. What can improve the situation?
2. Address poor behaviour here.
3. Go back to the HEART if they beat themselves up.
4. Express your opinion if you disagree.
5. Get them to own the situation

Hi Five Conversation

The Reflection Phase

1. Celebrate with them
2. What growth did they achieve, how did they get better
3. What characteristics do they display (courage, resilience, honesty, respect)
4. What strategies did they use to get the good results

These conversations almost always begin with HEART and often return to HEART. They improve self-esteem and build connection while building resilience. Let’s make our homes and classrooms places where children have permission to FAIL AND FEEL.

Below is a chart for your use and quick reference when you feel you need to have a 4H Model conversation with your child.

Toni Sillis

Principal